HOLY
COW:
This is the most common form of bovine in
Wisconsin. It is not uncommon to hear people mention them
multiple times a day. With the strong Catholic influences here
in the state, the origins seem to imply a desire to have an iconic
breed that could be unique to the people of
Wisconsin.
WORLD COW:
As Wisconsin has such a diverse ethnic grouping
of people,this breed seems to have evolved from a strong desire to
relate to eachother. Known for its subtle ability
to become the center of human social interaction, its unique
hide pattern encourages conversations amongst humans as they point
to areas where their ancestors once
lived.

SEA
COW
Another
finely adapted species of bovine, this breed spends its Winters
in warmer climates. Known for its raucous behavior and
excessive drinking, it has acquired a reputation for challenging the
locals to feats of athleticism.
CASH
COW:
Caught here,
hidden video, this breed seems to be extremely savvy in its
financial affairs and money management. They wear the best
skins and are known for their opulent lifestyles. Although
normally keeping their investments tied directly to their own
markets, it is not completely uncommon to see one wander into a
human financial institution for an update on current
interest rates, portfolio profiles, or market
trends.
HIPPIE COW:
Often
impersonating a Wisconsin cow, these cows hail from
California. With the popularity of liberals in Madison, they
commonly migrate here and reject the conventional lifestyles and
responsibilities associated with our bovine. They are all about the
"psychodelic experience" and finding mushrooms. They are
pretty easy to spot as they smell of weed. Any milk produced
from this breed should be avoided as it can lead to
hallucinations and delusional dreams of a "new
society."
MAD
COW
She is not from Wisconsin per say, but
this cow is generally angry and aggressive. Don't get between
her and a feed bag, or she will act like a
bull.
(I guess that is normal in this species
though!)
REALLY MAD COW
Nuff
said egh?
_____________________________________________
OBSESSIVE:
Humans in
Wisconsin are so enamoured with the "Bovine Lifestyle", that we
often imitate it. We are known for loving little or no
activity and a lots of eating.
The product on the left here, is an example of
our deranged obsession. This product is real and does very
well. There are a variety of flavored Cow Pies offered by this
company. (Yes with
nuts, but not corn)
COW
TIPPING:
In our
youth, Cheeseheads often rebel against the institution. We become
almost anarchistic and take our aggressions out on bovine.
There is new legislation being proposed in Madison that would make
activities like this a "hate crime" and allow local jurisdictions to
prosecute offenders. More on this activity can be found on our
"Beer Sports Page"
COW
NEGLECT:
A new trend is being seen in many
areas outside of Wisconsin. A cow will be used to produce milk
for many years and then, like a prostitute, "turned out" to perform
on demand dairy acts for little or no pay. Often they are
forced to make milk in trade for time with
a salt lick. There seems to be a tendency to turn a
blind eye to this type of behavior, but it is strictly prohibited in
Wisconsin. Udderly disgusting!

![mad-cows[1].jpg](images/Img381.jpg)
"Meowooooooooooooo"
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