HOLY COW:

This is the most common form of bovine in Wisconsin.  It is not uncommon to hear people mention them multiple times a day.  With the strong Catholic influences here in the state, the origins seem to imply a desire to have an iconic breed that could be unique to the people of Wisconsin.

WORLD COW:

As Wisconsin has such a diverse ethnic grouping of people,this breed seems to have evolved from a strong desire to relate to eachother. Known for its subtle ability to become the center of human social interaction, its unique hide pattern encourages conversations amongst humans as they point to areas where their ancestors once lived. 

SEA COW

Another finely adapted species of bovine, this breed spends its Winters in warmer climates.  Known for its raucous behavior and excessive drinking, it has acquired a reputation for challenging the locals to feats of athleticism.

CASH COW:

Caught here, hidden video, this breed seems to be extremely savvy in its financial affairs and money management. They wear the best skins and are known for their opulent lifestyles. Although normally keeping their investments tied directly to their own markets, it is not completely uncommon to see one wander into a human financial institution for an update on current interest rates, portfolio profiles, or market trends.

HIPPIE COW:

Often impersonating a Wisconsin cow, these cows hail from California.  With the popularity of liberals in Madison, they commonly migrate here and reject the conventional lifestyles and responsibilities associated with our bovine. They are all about the "psychodelic experience" and finding mushrooms. They are pretty easy to spot as they smell of weed. Any milk produced from this breed should be avoided as it can lead to hallucinations and delusional dreams of a "new society."

MAD COW

She is not from Wisconsin per say, but this cow is generally angry and aggressive.  Don't get between her and a feed bag, or she will act like a bull. 

(I guess that is normal in this species though!)

REALLY MAD COW

Nuff said egh?

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OBSESSIVE:

Humans in Wisconsin are so enamoured with the "Bovine Lifestyle", that we often imitate it. We are known for loving little or no activity and a lots of eating. 

The product on the left here, is an example of our deranged obsession.  This product is real and does very well.  There are a variety of flavored Cow Pies offered by this company. (Yes with nuts, but not corn)

COW TIPPING:

In our youth, Cheeseheads often rebel against the institution. We become almost anarchistic and take our aggressions out on bovine.  There is new legislation being proposed in Madison that would make activities like this a "hate crime" and allow local jurisdictions to prosecute offenders. More on this activity can be found on our "Beer Sports Page"

COW NEGLECT:

A new trend is being seen in many areas outside of Wisconsin.  A cow will be used to produce milk for many years and then, like a prostitute, "turned out" to perform on demand dairy acts for little or no pay.  Often they are forced to make milk in trade for time with a salt lick.  There seems to be a tendency to turn a blind eye to this type of behavior, but it is strictly prohibited in Wisconsin. Udderly disgusting! 

"Meowooooooooooooo"