FIERCELY COMPETITIVE,

STUPID WITH PRIDE,

DRUNK LIKE MONKEYS.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS

In Wisconsin there is much diversity in our entertainment.  We tend to like the kind of activities where we do not have to move around a whole lot.  We pace ourselves.  As a rule of thumb, the better activities for us are those that allow us to hold a beer while engaging in a competition.

BOWLING: It is one of the top competitive sports here in Wisconsin.  In many parts of the country where I have lived, I have seen people flip past a bowling show or tournaments on TV and laugh or make an off handed comment.  Wisconsin is the reason those shows even exist. Bowling is legendary here and everyone has been on a league at one time or another.  My Father a retired orthopedic surgeon made a living in part to Carpel Tunnel Syndrome.  It feels good to wield a stone ball at pins that are  set up so pretty.  To hear and feel the crash and see the destruction you have caused feeds the blood. Now add beer and you have something!

In both worlds, be it professional or as a  beer sport, bowling has become strongly associated with Wisconsin. The American Bowling Congress has been located in Milwaukee since 1908. The Women’s International Bowling Congress is also located in Milwaukee and been there since 1972.

DARTS: We love this game.  You will find them in every bar in Wisconsin. Where some bars have them for ambiance, here in Wisconsin, it generates some great revenue for the tavern owners.  We actually have serious tournaments and interstate competitions.  That is not a joke. It must be the European blood lines.

VIDEO GAMES: Not normally associated with competitions, it is not uncommon for a few guys to get schnockered and wind up playing these for hours convinced that the world truly is in jeopardy from aliens.

GUESS THAT BEER:  Ok, this one is brutal and is played in basements, bars, parking lots and in-laws bathrooms.  It can be played by one's self, or with a group.  There are no rules and often losing is just a lesson in a future win.  In candor, the only real loser is the guy that forgets to take the blind fold off before heading for the door.

QUARTERS: Are you may seeing  a pattern yet?  Good, you are closer to getting your degree young  Padwin.  Here you bounce quarters at a mug, pitcher or shot glass filled with beer, booze or milk (mixed of course with beer or booze) and drink if you miss.  Everyone wins.

SHEEPSHEAD: This one is actually a real card game.  We like Poker, Cribbage and a slew of others games too, but this one ranks as the number one card game of Wisconsin.  Obviously add beer and talk about the Packers.

PASS THE PIGS: Some FIBS we met in Devil's Lake reminded me how fun this game was on a recent trip.  Roll the pigs and make up rules drinking based on how they touch, land or fall.  Play until you all do the same.

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COW TIPPING

This is the grandest game of all.  It is not to be played by novices.  PETA and several other Madison based organizations have added new rules to this golden oldie.  Players are required to provide a soft 3" cushion or body pillow to insure the sweet bovine head is not hit on the ground.  It is much better to wait and have that done later when we opt to ground him for consumption.  Players (usually extremely drunken and unfit) sneak into the pasture like mentally challenged ninjas seeking a sleeping cow. (which sleep standing)  Players then rush the cow and give Bessie a good shove.  When exercised with precision the cow will fall over gently onto the pillows/cushion and let out a rip roaring "Mooooooooooooo!" 

Many Wisconsinites have become addicted to this sport and groups have been formed to help them find the source of their true pain and anger.  It is usually the parents that are to blame.